What defines your love?

I hope you missed me a little while I was gone. The thing about a blog is that noone and everyone can be reading them and I would never know. But that's okay because I don't mind talking to myself.


I can't say exactly what started some of the realizations I have had over the past few months but I have definitely learned a lot about myself recently. That's what college is about, right? Finding yourself, discovering who you are and what you want to make of yourself... Well I am at least three steps closer to finding a little more out about me. Recently, I just broke up with my boyfriend. We were together for 6 months, and it was the happiest, most miserable 6 months of my life. What I thought was love and what I could want for the rest of my life was really just me loving that someone loved me. But I lost way too much of myself in that relationship. Of course we had fun together but that was all I knew--me and him. I spent most of my free time with him and missed out on valuable college experiences at the risk of my own happiness. At first I thought that I learned to love in this relationship, but I'm a loveable person. And after weeks of reflections and eventful nights, I realized that I learned the true value of respect. I'm not gonna say that he ever disrespected me intentionally, but if anything should ever be respected in a relationship its morals and values. We all live in a world full of different individuals with different religions, traditions, and understandings. My parents have placed me in different environments where you are forced to respect the differences among people, and for that I am grateful. I don't have snide remarks when someone tells me something that resides deep in their heart, nor would I ever think that no meant anything but no.


We all hear that love blinds us. And I admit to being blinded. I cut myself completely off from the world for something that wasn't worth my world. I took the niceness and the love I received and thought that was all I needed, but true love has an unmatchable level of understanding. So my future love interests need to have similar values to the ones I have, or at least be respectful of those that are different. A relationship shouldn't change you and you should never be afraid to speak your mind. Keeping a part of you tucked away for the sake of a "loved" one isn't love, and it may hurt to say goodbye, but at the end of the day I have too much respect for myself to think that he was my only chance at love.


So maybe one day I will find a guy who really respects and understands EVERYTHING about me. Maybe one day I will fall in love for all the right reasons, but I don't mind kissing a few more frogs til that day.



Maybe, one day: ♥