Last summer, my best friend and I hit the shores of Jersey for a week at the beach, minus the sun, the beach, and the boys (yes, I know, the best parts) I actually learned a lot about myself.

My best friend happened to be extremely close with a fortune teller—whom she promised me was 100% accurate. So yeah, she told me the initial of my ex who decided to randomly re-enter my life , told me what was on my mind, let me know why me and my old boyfriend wouldn’t last, and completed her reading by telling me that I would find my soul mate, get married, and have kids.

But how could she not see that I am the heartless romantic.

Heartless Romantic (n.) A person who believes that love and happy endings exist in every corner of the world, just not for

themselves.

So there it was, my life all on the palm of my hands. I guess all I have to do is wait till I see if it all comes true. [Pause]. We hear every day in life about true love, fairytale endings, and soulmates, but what does it all really mean?

So there it was & here it is: Love, lust, lies, trust, sad beginnings and happy endings all in one blog.

Maybe, one day:

Friday, December 31, 2010

Good vs. Bad

If light represents innocence and darkness is the opposite, then toss me a black dress, a pair of pumps, dye my hair black, and throw me overboard.



I am sure that as we all leave 2010 and enter 2011 we can take something new with us, whether it be a new love, a changed mindset, or a resolution for improvement. For me, I'm taking every single lesson that I've learned, and BOY did I learn alot. I've talked about the lessons that I've learned in the latter part of the year, but it was the experiences from the beginning of the year that led to most of these lessons. But the lessons aren't really the center of my focus, it's the effect of those lessons. My theme song for the past few years has been Rihanna 'Good Girl Gone Bad' because over time my innocence has faded leaving the person I am today. Sure, everyone loses that childhood innocence that we are all born with, but everyone doesn't turn bad.


I am a good girl gone bad. I've tried to run from the reality of it all, but through the pains of love, the hearts I've broken, and the feelings that exist today there is nothing else that I can say but once a good girl goes bad, she's gone forever. So what's my definition of the 'bad' that I have reached?


Bad (adj.) a state of mind and reality that exists once nothing can change



The definition is vague, but that's because it's up for individual interpretation. My state of mind has taught me that only I can define my future, it's not up to anyone in my life or anything that happens to me. And the 'good' me let everything else have an influence on my life--especially the idea of love. Truth is, I wasn't ready for love, and I'm still not. This 'bad' me isn't a phase, it's my reality and through this reality I can discover myself and then I can be ready for love and everything else that the world is willing to throw at me.


SO take 2011 and be ready for it, because it's a new decade and won't be anything like the past. Be willing to cross paths and trade sides with what we call 'good' and what we see as 'bad' and create your own definition for each word and then let that define who you want to be in this upcoming year. I've already made my decision.



Maybe, one day: ♥


Happy New Year =)

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