Last summer, my best friend and I hit the shores of Jersey for a week at the beach, minus the sun, the beach, and the boys (yes, I know, the best parts) I actually learned a lot about myself.

My best friend happened to be extremely close with a fortune teller—whom she promised me was 100% accurate. So yeah, she told me the initial of my ex who decided to randomly re-enter my life , told me what was on my mind, let me know why me and my old boyfriend wouldn’t last, and completed her reading by telling me that I would find my soul mate, get married, and have kids.

But how could she not see that I am the heartless romantic.

Heartless Romantic (n.) A person who believes that love and happy endings exist in every corner of the world, just not for

themselves.

So there it was, my life all on the palm of my hands. I guess all I have to do is wait till I see if it all comes true. [Pause]. We hear every day in life about true love, fairytale endings, and soulmates, but what does it all really mean?

So there it was & here it is: Love, lust, lies, trust, sad beginnings and happy endings all in one blog.

Maybe, one day:

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Origins of Love

PRETTY RANDOM, but I am working on an assignment in class for humanities, which is really just the artistic side of the same history we have been learning. For this assignment, I am the leader of a group who is in charge of the Middle Ages, oddly enough the Middle Ages and the 12th century happen to be the origin of chivalry and courtly love. In other words, I am doing a research project on the origins of romanticized love—yes this is the perfect assignment for me.


Courtly love originated back in the 12th century in Southern France and is defined by the idea of a woman and one’s admiration towards her becoming superior to the idea of a man. To think, men thinking of a woman superior to them. The ironic thing about courtly love is that it didn’t exist among husband and wife, but someone a male admired from afar. There are steps described towards the process of courtly love aka “wooing” a female and rules to love were also identified. It’s actually interesting because while everyone is so busy saying that chivalry is dead, if they actually understood all that chivalry entailed they would think otherwise. Along with a code of chivalry, which relates more to knighthood than love, here are the most interesting Rules of Love as written by Andreas Capellanus:


He who is not jealous cannot love. And just when I thought jealousy was a bad thing, in the 12th century a little jealousy seemed to be good for the romance. Even today minimal jealousy can be slightly attractive when done properly, and may even be necessary for actual love. I may have to look further into that concept.


Noone can be bound by a double love. So if you haven’t heard it yet, they’ve known for 10 centuries that loving two people is NOT the way to go.


It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing. Hmmmmmm. Now this is a concept that we all know, but it is kinda nice to know that it is true for everyone. This idea rationalizes the fact that people fall in and out of love all of the time


Boys do not love til they reach the age of maturity. HAHAHAA! Now it is nice to see this on paper and it is also very important to take note of that. They say history repeats itself and to learn from the past, so here is a rule of love that I am sure we can ALL apply to our life.


No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons. Awwww. Now this one is absolutely precious, it makes one really want to find love, because I am sure that no one can come up with a good reason not to love.


No one can love unless he is propelled by the persuasion of love. This one is definitely important advice too and it makes sense. Love doesn’t just happen, it’s an abstract idea that a person has to believe in, and without believing actual love won’t exist.


When made public love rarely endures. More good advice, reading information like this makes me want to look a little deeper into the history and lives of the people that we learn about. Too bad all history isn’t stuff that can be directly applied to our lives. This idea goes along with an idea I’ve introduced before about following your heart and not being influenced by others, because the public has a stronger influence than most of us would like to admit.


The easy attainment of love makes it of little value: difficulty of attainment makes it prized. This concept explains why playing hard to get is just so entertaining, everyone likes working for a prize. This is the epitome of the chase versus the catch concept, the adventure/difficulty is in the chase, and once the prize has been caught the adventure, difficulty, and value also seems to leave. But we know that love without victory can also lead to an extreme heartbreak, so don’t let that chase last too long ladies.


A new love puts an old one to flight. WELL!! History has finally proved it, the best way to get over an ex is to find new love. Just don’t let that new love be mistaken for a lovely rebound.


Good character alone makes any man worthy of love. This rule puts the hope that we once had for every guy back into the hands of the guy. Good character is all a man needs to truly love, so instead of judging everything else (even though judgment has never been our jobs) take a second look at his character to determine where the next step is.


A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved. So that I don’t get too carried away this is the final rule that truly caught my attention. This rule correlates with every R&B song we know where one person can not get their mind of their lover. A true lover really can’t get their mind off of you & please remember that.



It’s sweet and refreshing to know that love has truly stood the test of time. Things that can remain strong through centuries are truly powerful and there is no reason that an idea as strong as love should ever fade. Boys and girls are merely a vessel that carries something that can only been felt and not seen, hopefully we will continue to keep the package of love safe so that it can remain strong.

For more information on chivalry, courtly love, or just love in general don’t be afraid to Google your curiosities and discover what the world has in store for you.



Maybe, one day: ♥

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